Aquarion's Tumblr Dryr

'vrything I've nvr wantd.

now with fwr unsightly vowls.

One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.

—Lemony Snicket (via victoriatambellini)

(via apiphile)

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

darkenyourclothes:

pastel-cutie:

what the hell

They are going to make so much fucking money.

(Source: videohall, via nevermindtheswearjar)

@peterseibel: My favorite Mythical Man Month story: a team in which each developer bought the manager a copy of MMM. So he could read it faster. — May 29, 2012 at 03:34PM

Dinner over, we produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and a goodly show of writing and blotting paper. For, there was something very comfortable in having plenty of stationery

fenris-kin:

aquarion:

EVIL NIPPLE-WAGON: alcoholic beverage breakdown

Potheen (also known as Irish Moonshine or Potato Wine) is an eye-wateringly strong liquor made from (surprise surprise) potatoes. It is varies between 70% and 90% alcoholic content, and because of that should never ever ever ever EVER be drunk neat, and you should only have ONE 25ml serving in 24hours.

Unless you’re Irish or Dutch. Seriously guys, what in hell are your livers made of?

Back in the mists of time, when I was just starting out on this “meeting people I met on the Internet” lark (and here there is a brief pause while my brain goes “OMG This was thirteen years ago!” and indeed, this story comes from back when years still had more than one nine in them) I went to the house-warming party of a friend where a mutual friend decided that now that I was a student (for I was) I should learn to (and here my narrative complex supplies a drumroll:)

DRINK SCOTTISH.

Not Scotch, I should point out. I’ve never been good at whisky. The flavours are still there, but I can’t get over the overpowering alcoholness. Anyway.

So, with a bottle of dodgy Potheen, he demonstrated. It involves looking very much like you’re downing half the bottle, when instead you are only actually drinking around a shot’s worth. 

It’s a useful trick to learn, especially for things like Larping where it’s highly possible your character’s getting drunker than you are.

But I was incredibly bad at it.

And one of the effects of being bad at it was that I was getting very drunk, very very quickly. So now I had a large scotsman shouting at me to Drink Scottish while I was trying to work out exactly in what direction the floor was going to be in a few seconds when I tried to walk on it. The rest of the night… I assume happened, due to temporal mechanics being what they are. I’ve rarely been that drunk.

So yeah,

Potcheen: Especially Not Twice.

EVIL NIPPLE-WAGON: alcoholic beverage breakdown

scistarborne:

iron-wang:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

  • Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
  • Mead is made from honey.
  • Cider is made from apples.
  • Beer is made from grains.
  • Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
  • Ain’t that cute?
  • All beer is either ale or lager.
  • Ale is fermented at room temperature.
  • Lager is brewed and store cold.
  • Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
  • Pilsner and bock are lagers.
  • Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
  • Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.
  • Butterbeer isn’t real. (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
  • Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
  • Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.
  • Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
  • Red wine is made from red grapes.
  • White wine is made from green grapes.
  • The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
  • Unless you live in France.
  • In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
  • (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
  • Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
  • However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
  • Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
  • Act like it tastes good. 
  • Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
  • You’ll be fine.
  • Brandy is distilled wine.
  • Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
  • Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.
  • Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
  • Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
  • Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
  • Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
  • Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
  • Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.
  • Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
  • Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
  • Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.
  • Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
  • Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
  • Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
  • Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
  • Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
  • Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
  • Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
  • Malt whisky is made from barley.
  • Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
  • Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
  • Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
  • Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
  • Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.
  • Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
  • Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
  • Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
  • American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
  • Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.
  • Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.
  • Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.
  • Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
  • Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
  • Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
  • Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
  • If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
  • Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
  • Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
  • If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
  • Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
  • Really, do you need to drink? 
  • You probably don’t.
  • But now you know some stuff. Maybe.

  • ♥

    image

Also, Real Original Absinthe is made with fermented wormwood. Which is why it made all those painters and artists hallucinate a bit.

But.. I like Long Island Iced Tea. :(